i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
love makes seman taste better
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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