are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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