come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
