just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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