we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
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