so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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