Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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