Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
