I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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