two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize