hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
She is in my trunk
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
im six kinds of drunk right now
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
