I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize