I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
