I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
