No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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