ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
