Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
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