New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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