You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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