Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize