you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
