Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize