Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
