Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
