Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
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