We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
