Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
