How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
