Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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