Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
we're chasing vodka with high fives
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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