There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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