i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
