So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
