Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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