I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize