Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
