Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
