Even the bartender felt bad for me
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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