Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
