Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
