I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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