i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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