I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
