First date: that requires underwear, huh?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
