But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
