Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
