Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We are two peas in an std pod
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That accounts for only three of the penises
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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