It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Randomize