i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
