He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
