Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
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Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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