Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
