I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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