my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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