You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Randomize
