wake up i wanna do it froggy style
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
