Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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