Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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