Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
