I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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