So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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